David Lane
by wierdo2015
Summary: Follow a man named David Lane as he struggles to survive trying to be a criminal in Gotham. Watch him in his struggle, managing to meet other villains and dealing with his own thoughts eating him alive. First thing I ever wrote so expect it to be bad.
1. Chapter 1

**This will be the slowest story you have ever read an probably the worst you have ever read, considering my character is just the Joker except a tad bit more sane, also I can't write. I have a reddit by the way, /u/Isthisfuckingtook or something, contact me there and ignore the stupid comments.**

His name is David Lane. You, David, grew up in the south and led quite the life. As a child you were what could only be described as an "near-sentient being". You were so numb that apparently (not that you remember this period of your life, that would have cost far too much focus) a walking shell of a child. You ate popsicles every single day for some reason and was a general asshole.

His teenage years were pubertic and awkward. He hated being a child. No one took him seriously and he was far too mature for his age group. Growing up in the south... as much as it pains him to say it... internalized some less-than-tolerant thoughts.

You can talk too by the way, this story isn't completely narrated.

"Alright... here we go, ehehe." David say as he walk into the area officially known as "Gotham". By "area" David means huge bustling city. The "Welcome!" and population signs are actually located further inside the city, David discovered.

David plans to be a criminal... A small criminal. _'It would be hard to get a normal job with disfigurements as interesting as_ _ **these**_ _, HA!'_ David thinks.

During Halloween when David was on the verge of 19, something unfortunate occurred. He was wearing a white mask that perfectly covered his face. His mother worked at a nuclear plant. Believe it or not, nuclear accidents _don't_ grant you superpowers. David doesn't even know what the hell happened... to him he fell and nearly drowned in nuclear sludge which glued a mask to his face, and fucked his hair.

Yes, the mask was now a part of his body. He had carved holes for his eyes in it which resulted, to someone looking at David, as pure black holes in his eyes with small green dots on his pupil. He actually carved an entire wicked mouth as well, also being pure black to his audience... _'well, soon to be audience.'_

His hair, being long, brown, and curly... Was now still long, but pointed upwards in estranged bundles, and black.

 _'Well I like it_ _ **better**_ _this way, butthole!'_

It also drove him completely and utterly mad. Or at least that's what the records that no longer exist said. He took pride in it but honestly never felt any difference what-so-ever.

It was true... he was insane... but still human. he was mature, had morals _('Hell, I only killed one person on this train called life so far and that was in self defence'),_ And he was also mature, well, sometimes _...'I wonder if ninjas can climb trees.'_ Truth be told, he enjo- scratch that, **loves** it. His mental health makes him unique... so what his clinical depression makes him void of happiness? At this point, why want it when you can have satisfaction?

 _'Being normal sounds horrifying at this point... you know maybe some therapy cou-'_

...

"No." David says. Arrr it's one of _those_ days. David rarely let it get so, oh so out of hand but his mind has been swimming with ideas, he has no time to fight it back. The sores that came with his onslaught of mental health issues are vast. He sometimes get headaches or just general periods of pain in his mind. Why can't his mind just deal with it like he does?

He has thought about it... After one single afternoon with a therapist (not even on the job, just a conversation) who had captured David in a good mood his general attitude had increased dramatically.

 _That horrified him._

His mind is his pride! Having the knowledge that all it takes is one single day with a normal conversation to help him was honestly the scariest realization of his life. If all it takes is a year to turn him into a happy civilian then what is the point of it all?

...

"NO!" David yells to himself sitting on a lone rooftop... why is he allowing himself to go down this train of thought? It's too late. It is night time, raining, thugs in the street drinking alchohol to numb there mind of their guilts and _lies_ the only way possible in Gotham, through alcohol..."Hehe." David whispers. "That was funny."

David doesn't drink.

...

 **See what I mean I'm a terrible author. I hadn't even gotten to David finding a place to live yet... that being said tune in next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So yeah I think I might start to proofread. If it wasn't for my internet being shit during publishing I would have never edited which in turn would have resulted in me not realizing every word was misspelled. Remember, if you for some strange reason want to contact me, my reddit (/u/Isthisfuckingtook) guarantees a response most days**.

...

"Ok, time for a new life... in the criminal company." David says. "First step first, I need a roof over my head."

Last nights events had left David exhausted. It occurs that it might be a while until David could actually _do_ something.

David has no idea where to begin so he is reading a newspaper. At first he sticked to the roofs and alleys, because of his face, y'know. Then it occurred to him _,'Oh, right, this is Gotham. Everyone carries shit umbrellas because of the perpetual rain and hangs their head low.'_ So now he is simply sitting at a bus stop reading a newspaper, no one batting an eye.

Eventually, and unfortunately, a child comes and sits next to him. Completely unguided _. 'quality parenting.'_ David thought.

"What a you doen' mistah, why ya weaning a maskth on you face?"

 _'Mother of god this kid looks about 9 or 10 he still can't talk worth shit... oh yes, I'm going to have to say something...'_ David thinks.

"Child where are your parents?" David says.

"I dun't now." The child speaks.

 _'I don't_ _ **now**_ _.'_ "Child you shouldn't run away from your parents, go back to them. Now. Or I'll molest you." David says. _'That usually sends them running'._

"huheherhrhrdurdurDAHAhaAH!" The child says. David flinches, hard.

 _'WHAT WAS THAT!'_ David thinks, _'Is he half Banshee?'_

 _'He...'_ David thinks looking at the child _, ' Actually, I can't tell if it is a boy or a girl or a mammal or-'_ **BANG!** David thoughts are suddenly interrupted.

Everyone in the street hits the deck. David supposes he should to. He grabs the screaming child by the mouth to drag him to the gro- _'oh my god he licked my hand.'_

"Ew!" David screams. Unexpectedly his own ears are bombarded with the most annoying and disturbing cackling he ever heard.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" as if someone took it out of a book. Paralyzing.

As if it couldn't get any worse, The Joker... _The Joker..._ suddenly popped out of an alleyway... and shot someone.

Then he shot another person laying on their stomach, face twords the ground. And then another and another. It's like winning the lottery for this man.

All the while running away from a _...'furry? OH! Batman.'_ Batman, with his face contorting further and further with rage twords the clown with every shot.

It is at that moment that The Joker sees the dumb kid. It is at that moment when David hear a shot. It is at that moment David hear a noise comparable to smashing your dinner. It is at that moment when a corpse of a child with his head blown in lands on David.

David doesn't know why he did it. David doesn't know if I was wearing a 'good riddance' face. David doesn't know why after he shot the kid he looked at me in the eyes, nodded, and gave me a thumbs up.

Then he turned around and went back to shooting, shooting all the way out of earshot.

 **2 days later**

"Ok... alright."

David has a deal with a land lord whom he is going to meet. He went ahead and robbed a few independent businesses dead at night, nothing that could draw attention. _'I plan to be a criminal, I at least need to be good.'_ And he was. He practiced lock picking, fighting, and others activities after the famous incident. he isn't sure if the nuclear waste messed something in his mind up, but one of the only good things that came out of the accident was the gear it caused to turn in his head. _'If you want something, work for it.'...' If you work for it, you can achieve almost anything.'...'In the end, it makes all the difference.'_

Common sayings, but they almost never actually have any affect in anyone's life... Except David. And each of those saying are true.

David sure has a lot of time to think waiting for his overdue guest to arr- "Ahh! David Lane!" a bald headed man said. He walked as fast a man of his stubby legs could. The lines intensity on his head increasing as he approached.

"Huff-huff, Mr. Davi- huuuuh?" The man asked.

"You must be referring to the mask, yes, that is of a more private matter." David said. It was.

"Well, non-the-less, I hear you're looking for a place to house and are interested in staying at my establishment? Oh, and Mr. Beck, by the by, hm-hm-hm." Mr. Beck says.

" Yes I am, sir! I would like for you know that I actually have here a month pay in advance." David says.

Like a natural capitalist, the mans face beamed up immediately. "Oh, really, may I see?"

 _'He better not try to run off, he probably thinks I'm some stupid junkie from a campus.'_ "Here you go, sir!" David says.

"... HA! Son it appears you actually have _two_ months pay here, which I would be happy to take off your hands right now... for two months, ho-ho-ho!" Mr. Beck says.

 _'I KNEW I- wait, what'_ "Thank you! Sir!" I say. I had not foreseen this, I still had enough cash for some dinner on my way home.

"Ho-ho-ho!" Mr. Beck said while preparing to leave, not before throwing me some keys. "3rd floor, 4th room."

"Yes, Sir!" David says before scampering off, accidentally lightly colliding with Mr. Beck.

Two months? Man, now David's head is swimming with ideas! He is ecstatic! That man, Mr. Beck is nicer than he seemed.

 _'Sucks he didn't notice the $100 I picked off of 'em, HA!'_

 _..._

 **I was bored and decided to pump this through real quick. Definitely better than the first chapter, am-I-rite? That shit was a clusterfuck and depressing.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, so I recently discovered that writing isn't as bad a past time as I thought, it is just the "idea" part that I do not like... I'm bored. Expect many updates, as I try to work on what ever I feel the need to when I'm not doing smething for the Campus and blah blahblah.**

 **So I feel like I'm making David too good of a guy, not really criminal material, just a man with health problems... and that is somewhat true, I will actually delve into this later on.**

 **Oh yeah and I am fucked on the piont of view, so espect that to be inconsistent and switch between chapters...or in the middle of chapters.**

...

It's late at night. _'No one is out at town during the nights in Gotham. There are rodent bodybuilder furries chasing_ __ _clowns off the street for crying out loud!'_ David thinks.

David is on the job, which calls for a special outfit, almost too stylish for words to Define, in his opinion. It was basically an old trenchcoat, with some expertise modifications David made. David added deep pockets and slots into many areas of the coat. He also had to add a hood and built in an easy-access mask that covers his face, as to hide his _actual_ mask. _'If people saw this... well then there would be no hiding, simply put. The green dots stay, no one seems to notice those things. Sometimes they even dissapear for no reason.'_ The entire oufit was coated in Jet Black, effectivley camoflauging him.

"Nevertheless- ugh! What the hell is this lock made out of?" David whisper-shouted as he lockpicked the back entrance to a pawn shop. According to the dead grapevine he got his info from, there was a priceless _('well, worth a good dinner, at least')_ gem of a gem in here. David jumped at the news that this place was near non-existent on the radar and most likely wouldn't even make it past the current decade. Truly a ripe catch.

 _'Ca-ching!'_ The door slips open. David crawls in.

 _'Man, this place is down and under... I probably don't even need to use stealth.'_ David thought. David decide _'What the hell?'_ and picked up some other objects that at the least looked interesting _, 'I'll just take these to another pawn shop if there isn't anyone who wants a... coprolite fossil... what the hell is coprolite?'_ David sighed, putting the chunk in his backpat.

 _'Whatever! None of these will hold a candle to-wow, ok, more interesting than I thought it would be... probably worth more, ehhe.'_ David thinks.

The gem is large with a glass case around it. Bright red... almost glowing, David thinks. It may be hard but he can simply lockpick the case and then be on his merry way.

 _'Ha! Today is a good day! alright here we go to busine-'_ _ **crrrrk.**_

It was as if the entire buidling was suddenly engulfed with this _shrieking_ noise.

"AH! It's like nail on chalkboard!" David said ducking into a dark corner. Looking around he saw... a shadow? In the skylights! David looked up only to... feel mixed emotions.

Catwoman. It was Catwoman _._ She was currently cutting a piece out of the skylight glass. it must have been thicker than she originally thought as she too was gimacing at the horrid noise. _'Why the hell is she interested in a shitty little gem, that thing is prbably only worth about 10 thousand at most. Catwoman is so skilled she's rumoured to have millions of dollars at her disposal. AHHH! I can't let this go unhinged!'_

Catwoman was now crawling down a _\- 'oh, ok, nevermind, she just jumped down. Catwoman doesn't need rope, she always land on her feet.'_

Catwomen, wearing the iconic black, skin tight body suit, examined the gem. "Ah, so this is the most vaulable out of all of them in here? I don't usually go small like this, but when the one-man army is out and about there isn't much of a choice."

Catwoman then proceeded to use her claws to cut a circle out of the glass, then grabs the gem, smiling slyly.

 _'Oh god i suck at talking to women, oh man, she might accidently_ _ **brush up**_ _against me, ohhh-ho, hehehHA! I am too good!'_ David thought. _'But really, this won't stand.'_

Oh lord, he was actually going to confront her _._ Confront Catwoman, him, a nobody wannabe criminal at this current time. _'I'm... actually not that scared, maybe it's because she's an honestly attractive women or I... don't know whiether or not she is willing to kill... but good lord I want that gem!'_

"STOP RIGHT THERE! David shouted to Catwomen, about to leave.

 _..._

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Selina suddenly heard, startling her.

If she turned quick enough she could have automatically assume she was looking at a Batman wannabe. Then it became appearant who... or what i was.

The man was so hard to see that Selina seriously considered her mind was just playing tricks on her.

"Oh, right." The man said, stepping into the skylight.

The man was covered in a suit making it impossible to mask out any traits . Selina notices now that in his eye sockets there are dim, green lights.

"Ahem!" The man started, knocking Selina out of her study. "I believe you have soemthing that belongs to me." The man said, pointing twords the gem stone.

 _Great,_ just what Selina had hoped for, unneeded disturbinces. After almost running into Batman, Selina had wanted to get away from any heros in a kilometer radius. And now there is one here.

The gemstone was worthless compared to what Selina has in total cash, but she gets bored quikly without her weekly, sometimes daily, fill of pure thrill; the real reason she did crime.

She supposed she woud have to take out this hipster Batman quickly- "I was suppose to steal that, y'know?" The man says.

Oh... what? "What?" Selina ask.

"That gem, it's mine, I came in here for it and refuse to let you take it from my grasp." The man states.

Oh, It's a villain... that still doesn't really change the situation as it stands in whole.

Selina has never seen this, admittidley,unique looking character ever before. That being said, she is being thretaanded by someone whom she has never even met? Ridiculus, but currently happening. She didn't use her position in the criminal world to her advantge, but does this man _seriously_ not recognise her?

"Hun, I don't think you realise you're speaking to me, Catwoman, I'm quite well known." Selina said standing straight _,'that should get the bimbo running.'_

"I'm aware and I don't care. I was here to steal that jewl, but then you came and ruined my monolog."

"I say finders keepers."

"I say hand me the gem."

"Methinks you're just hitting on me."

"Methinks go fu-" The man was interuppted whenever a speeding black oject suddenly collided with his face.

'Batman.'

...

Bruce was not expecting to meet any "Major villans", tonight. He had predicted maybe a mugge, or a fiend, yet here he was face to face ith Catwoman. He saw her stalking along the rooftops.

"Catwoman." Bruce stated. Gotta keep it professional.

"Batman, how nice of you to interrupt us." Catowman, or Selina Kyle,stated.

 _'Us?'_ Btaman thought, then nearly jumped at the lanky man he somehow didn't notice. _'Not usual that someone manges to sneak... up. Oh, the batarang hit him. That was just suppose to alert Selina.'_

"Selina, that gem is only worth a few grand at most, why that?" Bruce was genuinely curious, Selina Kyle had far more than that at her disposal, this gem will add virturally nothing.

"I was bored, detective, nothing more. You know I love thrills."

"And this gave you thrills?"

"More or less."

"And that is?"

"You from another dimension where you're a crinimal."

"Are you serious?"

"Do I look serious, HA!, No I'm not serious, I have no idea who White Mask is."

"White Mask..." Batman muttered, before being kicked by Catwomen.

...

"hnn- White Mask, that name is retarded, fuuck." David muttered. That batarang hurt. _'David doesn't like pain. It makes him angry.'_

 _'I need to sneak off, while Bat and Cat are preoccupied with one another. Oh yeah, and the gem, where is the gem...Cat doesn't have it. She must have put it up... there.'_ David thought, seeing the gem... he needs it. He has had too much happen in order to not come out on top. _'Bat is just human, he is distracted. He still hasn't noticed me.'_ David grabbed the gem. 'My buddys will be pleased to have this on the shelves... god I better be payed well.'

 _'Sneak, sneak, sneak... and I'M OUTTA HERE!'_ David thought, exiting the building _,'with the gem... I need to get outta the neighorhood, Batman will put this together easily if he is as they say.'_

David runs and runs twords his friends. "ALMOST THERE JUST ANOTHER BLOCK OR TWO!"... maybe he should stop screaming. David walks around the shadows of alleyways for several minutes.

 _'...quiet night... what is that noise? Sounds like walking... above me... alright well Imma just go ahead and run again... oh crap I can't lead him to the-'_ "OH CRAP!" David yells when a large shadow falls ahead of him.

"White Mask. Catwoman managed to escape... I thought she would have went with you but I was wrong. You have the gem, give it to me." Batman said

 _'Oh my god, I'm gonna die. Well, I'm an expert fighter, maybe I can beat him...'_

David quickly throws a punch, to which Batman sidesteps. David jumps up and kicks Batman in the face, to which Batman stumbles. Batman quickly recover, however, and grabs David.

" What's your name, White Mask!" Batman commands.

"It isn't White Mask, I'll tell you that! Stop calling me that!" David screams, before headbutting Batman, causing him to be dropped. David quickly kicks Batman away _,'Dear lord nothing wares him out.'_

"Why me? Couldn't Two Face be robbing a bank right now? This thing has nothing on banks." David says.

"If Two Face was robbing a bank, I would know." Batman responds. David unexpectidley throws a punch at Batman. It connects, and David uses the split second of time to turn the punch into a combo.

"You're not that bad, Batman. Based on what I've researched, without you here the police would be infested. Gotham would crumble. So, as much as it hurts to say, I have to deal with you." David admits. Truth was, David wasn't a killer. He still felt guilt about killing a man in self defense and it's been a _while. 'Still, next to this Batman character that's nothing.'_

As David sees Batman recover, he quickly jumps wall to wall up to a three story roof. "huff... I hate doing that. This better work."

As expected, Batman quickly caught up with his position. As he was landing David jumped high and managed to land a hard kick against the side of his face, sending Batman flying. David quickly went to pick up a recovering Batman, but was practically limping _. 'I put everything into that kick, christ. He's not unconsious, and I flipped a car with that move once.'_

"Still, a 3 story drop should knock you out, don't ya think." David stated, holding Batman by his cape over the edge.

"And my name isn't the White Mask either... I don't have one yet." David asserted, before dropping Batman.

'One, two.' "AH!" '... three.' David thought before turning his back to an exhausted Batman.

...

 **Ta-da. I have no idea what to name David... at all. Any ideas, anything? Please think of one, people. Don't worry, David won't win all his fights. He sure as hell wouldn't win a fight against Batman without a 3 story drop.**

 **But really reccomend me a name.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am dedicated to the five people who read chapter 3 as I'm writing this. Wanna hear something fun? I have a really, really, really dark and uncomfortable chapter (It was about 9/10 of the way done, I guess) I decided not to publish because I ended up getting so into the story that it didn't even fit David's character anymore (you know how David doesn't feel comfortable killing? Well, if what I wrote were on the "David" profile then he probably wouldn't care about killing people.).**

 **I watched Justice League: War and Flashpoint Paradox today and they were really good! I wierdly liked dumb Wonder Woman... Just wanted to mention that.**

 **...**

 _'Yay, It's Halloween. My favorite holiday... eh, whatever, that is besides the point.'_

 _'I don't think Batman likes that I kicked his Bat-ass.'_ David isn't wrong. _'He's been practically hunting me from Bat-place to Bat-time and it's exhausting.'_ David recalled, sitting in his apartment. _'You know this place isn't half bad now that I've put some work into it.'_

Whenever David first moved into the complex it was damp, dark, and ugly. David's floors were an unknown material they were so degraded. Leaks were coming out of corners David dared to venture. _'However, that gem was worth far more than I anticipated, I even got a bonus once I told them I kicked Bats ass, heh. That bonus, interestingly, included a recipe for smoke bombs, which weren't too hard to make. Still, it's a shame I had to spend most of it on this place. I don't think Batman has reported me, I've kept an eye on the news. I should be a bit more careful now... I need to go to that dinner though.'_

David, somehow, had gotten an invitation (part of the "Oh shit, you faced The Batman!" bonus David received) to the open dinner held by Bruce Wayne... a costume party for Halloween. "Bruce Wayne." David thought aloud _. 'I never really liked the guy, I feel sorry that he lost his parents, but he has all that money from managers doing his work for him. He doesn't even show thanks, all he does is just sit around and uses women, hence the "Playboy" title, I get steamy thinking about it.'_

 _'Fuck it though, free billionaire food, I need a costume.'_

 _..._

 _'I'm a fancy mummy who can't dress properly.'_ David thought, walking twords this banquet and passing trick and treats walking about about the streets.

David had decided to go as a mummy but that arose a probem once he was done: Should he have completely covered his body in mummy rap, it is a Bruce Wayne dinner, after all? He had become paranoid then decided to put on a tuxedo a size too small... meanwhile his face, lower leg which wasn't covered, and hands with a bit of arm were visible and covered in mummy wrap. _'Oh, wow, I really hope I'm not the only one in costume, oh god no.'_

 _'I hope I get a word with Bruce Wayne, I can only_ _ **dream**_ _of how that conversation will go... yes I actually really can dream of that conversation, ha, I need this to happen.'_

"... How long of a walk is this-oh, there we GO-WOW! David exclaimed, this hall was huge. "I'ma thug, a villain. I really shouldn't be here." David suddenly felt very pressured. _'I'm already here and have the invite, I might as well. At least I'm not the only costumed one, though they're a bit more... glittery.'_ David went along to stand in line behind what was clearly a very rich man, bald, dressed in bright colors,wearing a bird mask, _'Maybe some conversation can help me.'_

"Hey, so this is billionaire Bruce Wayne's party, they must be serving some really good stuff, just imagine it." David said, trying to spark some talk.

"Yes, I suppose. The only reason I even came here was because I had a small meeting with Bruce Wayne and he insisted I come." The man said, only partway turning his head.

"A meeting with Bruce Wayne, you must be quite the figure?" David asked.

The man fully turned now, smiled, and held up his invitation.

 _'Alexander... Luthor...Lex Luthor... Oh shit, stay calm. I should have recognized the gleam off of his head, that_ _ **Lex**_ _gleam.'_

"Well, I didn't know I was talking to that Lex Luthor, nice to meet you." David said, holding out his hand and trying to stay polite.

"I don't usually talk with people of your...caliber... but you got an invitation so you must be doing something right." Lex stated, returning David's gesture. "What's your name, it's only appropriate." Lex Asked.

 _'Oh, uh, what is my name? I'll just check and...'_ "Francis Shadow." David responded _'Shadow... corny as all hell, but I guess it's kind of cool, I'll have to use it for something later.'_

"Well-hm? oh, sorry, but I'll have to talk to you later, my phone is ringing... yes, yeah?" Lex was intertwined in this call.

 _'I guess I can talk to the person behind me now.'_ David thought. David turned, having to down in order to view the woman behind him. She was wearing a dress that hugs her, and her makeup, David guessed, was suppose to make her look comparable to a clown.

"What do you think they'll serve?" David asked _, 'Fuck changing subjects, I'm hungry, and this helps.'_

"Me? I think they'll serve shrimp." The woman said, _'In the heaviest New Yorker accent I've ever heard.'_

"Interesting, so what's your name?" David asked.

"Hm? Oh, eh, my name is on this card?"

 _'...oh my god..."Harl quin"... That's Harley Quinn isn't it OH MY GOD... that is the most crudely forged invitation I've ever seen.'_

"That is good." David said, before turning around.

"Hold on buddy, you've gotta tell me your name, you know." Harley demanded.

"Fine, my name is..." _'Actually, let's think about this. Based on my research Harley Quinn is psychopathic but... it would be good to have a friend in a high place. She may manage to pull me into contact with the Joker which is something that I don't really want. If I tell her that I've managed to beat the Bat and avoid him that is sure to impress.'_... David paused, looking the woman over _. 'She sure is adorable, it's hard to imagine she's obsessed with an abusive clown and murders people without remorse. I suppose I could indulge her... what should my villain name be... Shadow, fuck it. I'm not that creative.'_

David leaned in and whispered to Harley,"You can just call me Shadow, sweety. We can talk more, later, but not here, Harley Quinn."

At the mention of her name her eyes widened a bit,' _did she seriously expect for that to work?',_ but then went back to normal. Harley smiled,"Ooh, Mr. Mystery over here. Fine, where should we meet?"

Ew, planning. "I see no reason we can't just hang out until then, right? You didn't come here to do anything in particular, did you?" David asked. If Harley planned on doing anything "reckless" then David doesn't want to be seen with her.

"Naw, I just came here for the food. And sure! Let's hang out, it's a date!"

 _'This won't get annoying.'_ David thought.

...

"Wow! This place is nice, ain't it, Harl!" David exclaimed. It was a huge, golden hall with people in every nook and cranny. In the center began a grand staircase and at the top out came Bruce Wayne... dressed as Bruce Wayne.

"Shadow, look, it's Bruce Wayne! Ain't he just dreamy?" Harley said, admiring her boy crush.

"Eh, about as dreamy as it can get."

"What? Ya don't like him?"

"Nah..."

"... Well why not, you told me you were bisexual?"

 _'I really regret telling you that.'_ "He's handsome and shit but he's him. Playboy Billionaire Bruce Wayne. He doesn't show his thanks and has managers to do his work for him. Sure he runs the Thomas and Martha Wayne charity organizations, which is pretty noble, but almost every big public image ever involves themselves in charity's, it helps their image."

"Wow." Harley said, leaning against David's chest. "You're pretty smart, aren't ya, big boy,you remind me of my puddin, that sounds like something he would say."

 _'Wow, she's great at hitting on people. We've only known each other for like, a half hour too...did she just compare me to Joker? Whatever, as cute as Harley is, I really cannot do this right now, also, she's, uh, getting me kind of...'_ David lightly pushed Harley aside. _'I need something to distract me, I should let her know about "Shadow" Shadow.'_ David thought.

"Come with me." David ordered _. 'that will put off great messages. I'm taking her to the roof.'_

"Ooh, somewhere spicy?" Harley asked.

"I need to show you something about my face."

"Hm, oh, if it's a scar, don't worry, I love scars. I lick em' clean."

 _'Yeah, I bet you do.'_ "You see that ladder, we're going to the roof. Follow me." David said, now outside and leading Harley up to the roof _. 'does she still think we're going to have sex?'_

"Oh, orders, you know how to grind my gears." Harley purred.

 _'I guess that's a yes.'_

"I hope you know I don't plan on dating you or some stupid shit."

"I don't plan to either. I just wanna see what's beneath those bandages." Harley said. "There are people you could ask, once I have my sights on someone, I keep my sights on them."

 _'Well that's nice to know.'_ David thought.

"Here, now I'm going to show you my face and your going to see a small fragment of just why I'm a criminal." David said.

"Criminal?" Harley asked.

"Yup." David said starting to unwrap the wrap. He was used to this. People would somehow not notice his face, make some nice conversation, then they saw the mask-end of story. This is the first time he had ever actually used it to scare someone off. Although the mask was basically unbreakable, _'it's taken a shot before'_ , it was still trouble.

"Viola." David said.

"Wow... that is awesome." Harley stated as fact.

"... Wait, what?"

"That's so cool."

"Shit, seriously."

"Those green little snake eyes are rad, they do that naturally? Man, Scarecrow would love this!"

"Um...yup."

"I can see your mouth through that weird sheet of darkness."

"Damn, good eyesight."

"Shadow, buddy, I don't think you realize that you're welcome here in Gotham."

David wasn't use to this. He hadn't really ever heard the words "you're welcome here" before _. 'Oh god, I'm getting emotional.'_

"Well, thanks, Harley." David day just got a little brighter.

"No problem. So... are you good?" Harley asked.

"Damn't Harl I thought I established-" David was cut off.

"Naw! I mean at being a criminal." Harley assured.

"Hm? Well, I just began." David said.

"Done anything?" Harley asked.

"Well, I ran into Catwoman and Batman, Kicked Batman's ass, and been getting hunted by the same sore-ass for these past few weeks." David saw no reason he couldn't tell the truth.

"...WHAT!" Harley screamed.

"AH! what?" David stuttered.

"You beat the Batman?"

"Barely, I only won because I kicked his face in and knocked him off a roof... but yup, I guess I did, kinda kick his ass." David said, flexing. "He's pissed though."

Harley giggled," I guess a roof drop would knock the wind out of anyone."

"Yeah, but I'm a pretty good fighter."

"Well, If you ever need to get some quick cash, I have some jobs that you or we could do together sometime, just let me write a card real quick."

"Alright sure." David responded _. 'This is good, I need to teach Batman that he needs to get over his crush on me because that'll never happen. Then I can go fuck a bank with Harley... oh yeah, she "has her sights" on me, I'll have to look out for that'_

"Here you go." Harley said handing the card to David.

 _'Call me! 8704759932 ;)'_ David read in his mind.

"Well, it's late and the party is ending, I guess I'll head out, it may be a while before I can actually call you." David said, about to jump to another rooftop.

"Hold on a second buster, you're just gonna leave me here? You know what I think about that?" Harley stated, walking twords David.

 _'If she fucking kisses me-and yup, of course.'_ David thought, as Harley landed a kiss on his lips.

David jumped to the other ledge as Harley walked away, _'great, Furries hunting me, a psychopath wants me, and I never even got a full stomach, these next few weeks will be interesting.'_ David predicted.

 _'It's good to have friends in high places.'_

 **...**

 **Well, ta-da. I was bored and decided to poop this out real quick. No, I don't plan on making Harley and David a thing, I just wanted to explore this after remembering the Harley out of the Assault on Arkham movie (plus we need to get David to interact with the grand characters somehow, right?). If any of you are livid, saying that "Harley would never cheat on Joker." Well, look at the Assault on Arkham movie. She** _ **looks**_ **at Dead-shot and instantly wants him. In fact, she took the time to hit on him repeatedly then snuck into his bed naked, where they had sex, pretty sure it happened somewhere in the comics, too.**

 **Sorry if you feel this chapter was lacking comedy and action, I've been out of it, and frankly this is a pretty boring chapter action-wise.**

 **Oh yeah and David is Bi, bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Man, I am on a roll! It's only been 2 hours since I've published chapter 4 and here I am. More action in this one, David's friends have another job. I write these things during night time as to not have any interruption.**

 **...**

"Why is this so hard, OH NO!" David exclaimed, before being engulfed in smoke.

Along with the payment for the gemstone, David received a Batman bonus. It included the invitation now thrown away, A six-pack of , and the recipe to smoke...stuff _. 'I'm not actually sure what these things are. I think it's actually smoke recipes instead of one thing... yup, man my friends are awesome. Smoke Pellets: Throw them on the ground. Smoke grenades: Get rid of the pin, throw them, and they'll spew smoke for at most a minute or two, depends on the quality, in this case very high quality, so maybe three minutes. Color: How to color smoke... you can do that?'_

 _'Well, The smoke going to need to be thick and Jet Black considering most other colors will contrast with the suit. I'm going to need to steal some materials in order to make these grenades, shouldn't be too hard, I've seen most of this stuff at Wal-Mart. The pellets are hilariously easy to make but they're colored gray, which means they contrast with the suit'_

 _'But getting resources...that means going out at night, and night means...'_

...

Bruce hates this day, the anniversary of his parents death. However, his incentive to go and purge Gotham of crime is never so strong as this day.

Bruce was sitting at the Bat cave, getting prepared to go, night would fall soon.

Bruce had recently taken interest in someone he met and was close to finding him.

"Will you need anything before you go, sir?" Alfred asked.

"No, Alfred, that's all for tonight." Bruce responded.

"Very well, sir." Alfred finally said as Bruce took off in the Batwing.

Bruce had originally tried to do some research on who he met but had nothing to go on _. 'I should have recorded his voice.'_ Bruce thought to himself _. 'It isn't everyday someone actually manages to be on par-or as close as he was-to my skill, although I doubt he would do well in an honest fight.'_ Bruce planned. _'I've fought his type before. They manage to be resourceful, and use what they can to their advantage, smart... I had underestimated him before, I thought he was a wannabe criminal, so I didn't fight at my full potential. White Mask is a dumb name considering Black Mask exist, plus he told me himself before dropping me that he wasn't called White Mask. Still...'_ Batman, still planning, was now on top of Wayne tower in Gotham. ' _This guy is most likely smart, he probably has some new tricks up his sleeve. He Doesn't seem completely sociopath, so that's good.'_ Batman recalled the fight, his back still ached but it was nothing major.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw what look like a shadow running from rooftop to rooftop, carrying something.

 _'It must be him.'_

 _..._

'Alright, this stuff could be fragile, so I should be careful.' David warned himself jumping from rooftop to rooftop. 'Still, this is pretty fun! I can see why Bat-kin does it, Haha, I'm saving that one.'

 _'Batman... I haven't really put a lot of thought into him as a whole, I've seen his type before but never on such a scale. It's, uh, clear that something traumatic happened to him that caused him to be perpetually stuck in a Halloween costume. In fact that seems to be a trait among Gotham's figures: dress as your name. Maybe I should change my name to "Day-man" and go around in a sun costume. I'll attack people by spinning around and hitting them with the sides of the costume. But anyway, Batman. I cannot afford to be caught in a fair fight with him, I've heard and saw enough to know that I'll get my ass kicked in fair circumstances. He has a damn_ _ **Batmobile**_ _for crying out loud! Luckily fair circumstances are not here considering I have the smoke pellets. They can be made out of virtually anything so I decided to destroy the cans to the six pack and bang: hundred or so smoke pellets. I still need something to actually carry stuff with... OH MY GOD stay on task,_ _ **The Batman!**_ _I was wondering whether or not I was going to meet him but I guess-'_ David was suddenly interrupted whenever that iconic shadow suddenly landed in front of him.

David gently put down the briefcase he put the lifted goods in.

"I was just thinking about you, I wanted to ask a few questions." David said.

"...Shoot." Batman accepted.

"Do you refer to your public figure in 3rd person." David asked _,'If he does then that's hilarious.'_

"What's in that briefcase."

"Is your Bat-suit made out of Bat-skin?"

"Answer me."

"Do you have a thing for bats."

"Tell me."

"The fact you dress as an animal is dumb."

"I won't ask again."

"... Are you Bat-kin?" David asked before having to dodge a punch. "I can tell this annoys you, and I can tell that you're a sore loser by my managing to beat you." David said, dodging. David suddenly throws a well timed punch at Batman's center rib cage, holding his middle finger partway out, _'to maximize the hurt.'_

"Look at you, taking the offensive, I personally prefer the defensive behind of my poor pain tolerance. Fun Fact about me #499."

"You're putting up a persona." Batman stated, pulling away. "You remind of the Joker, and no one else is like him."

"I am?" David asked. 'I've just been being me this entire time, why do people keep on comparing me to Joker?' David asked himself.

"Well, I really can tell your interested in getting my details, right? Well just know that I have destroyed _everything_. There is _nothing_ left that can even give you vague description of who I am. I went and _hunted_ people with the records on my way twords Gotham, I managed to delete and/or burn everything about the man I am. I'm in Gotham, I'm a criminal, and I'm here to start anew. The past no longer exist, and I don't hang on it."

David is being serious, he went and destroyed everything that has a hold on him, he even had to go back and convince that he got his name wrong once he realised his mistake.

'I want to end this, I need to trigger him.' David thought.

"Not hanging on to the past is something that you certainly do well, isn't it, Batman? I can tell, something happened a long time ago that really made you think, didn't it? You've thought about it... but never **really** thought about it, haven't you. Like seeing a twenty dollar bill and trying to get past the fence holding it but you can't, you shrug it off because it's only a twenty, yet there was a gate there the entire time and you didn't realise. This is like that, except on a much grander and complicated scale." David taunted.

At this point, Batman was clearly livid. _'I'll need to distract him in order to pick up the case, drop some pellets, and get out of here.'_

"I want you to think about it. I want you to think about the gravity of the situation. I want you to think about how **that** led to **this** and there is nothing you can do about it. Let me guess It would have been unlikely that you could have done anything to stop it, but you could of at least put **some** effort into it, and possibly done something, right? Judging by your face, I'd say it'd be correct to guess you **didn't** do **anything**. It was in a case of perfect timing, too, huh? The people you failed probably weren't even decent twords you. You did something, said something, and that only increased the guilt you felt when you failed them " David said, ready to make an escape.

"Look, I don't know what happened that would have given you so much dedication. I truly feel sympathy for you. Who knows, maybe I can relate? But I need you to stop messing with me. I kicked your ass, boo hoo. Besides, the only reason I even said all this was as a distraction." David finally finished.

Before Batman's face could show confusion, 10 or so smoke pellets dropped.

 _'Oh GOD, there was way more smoke than I anticipated, I can barely breath!'_ David thought, running for clean air.

After escaping the Bat David decided that he needed to get home, fast _. 'After hitting his system like that it wouldn't surprise me if he just plainly shot me. I was mostly spewing stuff, I wonder if I got any right?'_

...

"Ok, here we go." David said, about to pull the pin. Thick, Black smoke should spew out.

David pull the pin...

David waits...

 _'David waits some more.'_

Then a _bit_ of black smoke comes out.

"Is it a dud?" David ask himself.

David quickly pulls out the backup he made. Expecting nothing, David pulls the pin and doesn't even drop the case. _'David is surprised when a SHIT-TON OF SMOG POPS OUT OH GOD!'_

Now the entire roof of the apartment complex is covered in thick, black smoke. _'I can't breath through my mouth in this, heh, I don't exactly have nose holes in this thing so I should make the smoke a bit thinner... and get off of the roof.'_ David said, entering the building.

 _'Well it's a start... I should call Harley...'_ David recalls _._

"What was her number again, I think it was... aright there it is, 8704759932..."

"...Yello?" _'Yup I recognize that voice.'_

"Yeah Harley it's me Shadow I thought-" David was cut off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Harley shrieked.

"Shadow! How ya doin'? I've told Mr.J all about ya! Do you want some work?"

 _'She made the Joker aware of my existence... alright.'_

"Yeah, sure, but I only like to work alone, or with **one** other person." David asserted.

"Alright, alright, I understand your demands, give me a sec..." Harley said.

'Oh thank god I managed to get her to work with me alone, I do not want to get caught up with the Joker.' David thought, relieved. Suddenly Harley was back on the line.

"Joker would love to hit Prime Bank with you! He said he wants to meet you at 12 o'clock at night on Drake Str. He also said you're a 'great gag' I think it means he likes you!"

 _ **'...what?'**_ "Harley, thanks, bu-" The line suddenly disconnected...

 _'Fuck.'_ David simply thinks.

...

 **TA-DA. Two in one night, baby! If you were wondering what that "they probably weren't even that decent twords you." line was it's a nod to Batman #430 where Bruce gets straight-up smacked by Thomas Wayne, his father. Bruce tells Martha Wayne, his mother, that he wished Thomas would die. The murders happen on the same night increasing his guilt.**

 **Also, Joker time... Writing this guy in-character is going to be so hard.**


	6. Chapter 6

**David and Joker are BFF's, fuck it. My Batgirl is still up and at 'em, by the way.**

 **...**

 _'Ew, Joker.'_ David was appalled at the thought of meeting the man himself. It wasn't an unknown fact that Joker kills people for fun... and that's kinda it _. 'Between that and being in love with Batman that's pretty much Joker's whole character.'_

 _'I want him to know that I don't want to be here and could easily end him... might as well play the tough guy act, that will totally work. Based on what I've seen, he entertains himself, so that's sure to work.'_

"I think this is the place... that him?" David asked himself.

"Oh man, I sure do wonder where that clown went off to!" David yelled.

"Ah, I should stop entertaining myself, I need to go meet TCPOF... THE CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME, GOD DAMN'T I SEE YOU SMILING!" David yelled twords Joker, who breaks down into a fit of giggle and approaches David.

"Oh, you know I'm not the **biggest** fan of situation comedy, but you pull it over itself!" Joker heaved. True as rumor, his face was a sight to behold. White skin, literally. Eye colors of what seemed in the dark of the night seemed to be dark green with pinpoint pupils. Dark green hair as well, still managing to reflect enough light to give it a shine. It was sort of remarkable in a twisted kind of way. He was wearing a dark purple trench coat along with a sunhat to complement, and keep him hidden among the non-existent crowd.

"Yes, well, I'm certain you're aware of my being?" David asked.

Joker hasn't killed David yet for stepping out of line, so he must be doing something right, "You're... Shadow, we'll need to get you a better name, kiddo, Batman will diddle you if he learns of that name."

"I also considered Day-man at one point, but this coming from a man who's worked with a guy with two faces and likes a number:Two Face. A man who likes to scare people: Scarecrow. A women who is half plant or something, I don't know: Poison Ivy. And your nemesis is a guy who dresses like a Black Ops Rodent: Batman." David finished, _'Might not want to bring up the title "Joker."'_

Joker thought he was going to die from how funny this kid is at this rate. "Well, hehehaehehe, I think we should get going."

"I suppose." David agreed as they began to head twords the pitiful bank _. 'It's so_ _ **local**_ _that we don't even need a crew.'_

"So, heh, _that_ bank, eh? I can't wait to see what we get out of 30 deposit boxes owned by people in their 90's..." David said.

"HA! Well, it isn't the Cash we're after, It's Batsy, you may know him!" Joker spoke, excited. "If what you say holds true, then I want to see you fight The Batman."

"Uh, Joker, I don't know what Harley may have told you but-"

"Don't worry kiddo I know all about the roofs and everything."

"I won't win against him."

"You're not suppose to. Even if you were suppose to, none of us ever kill him, in case you couldn't tell, so we wouldn't judge, everyone is welcome here in this freak show of a city."

 _'There it is more of that welcome talk, and coming from the Joker of all people.'_ David thought.

"...So, what's your actual name, kid?" Joker asked.

 _'Alright, no, nuh-uh, ain't happening, Joker or no Joker.'_ David thought. "If I asked what your name was what would you say?"

"Joker."

"My name is Shadow then."

"AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Joker laughed, nearly falling over. _'why was that so funny?'_ David questioned.

"Well that lit dynamite, what's so funny?"

It took a minute for Joker to gain himself, but once he did he curb balled David, "You! You know what, you can tell a good joke. The bank can ditch itself, let's hit the town."

"Wait, really, where would we go?"

"What can you do?"

"I bought smoke grenades."

"That... didn't answer the question but can I see one?"

"Alright." David said, getting one out and handing it to Joker.

"Hm, this is pretty high quality, were did you get these?"

"They literally call themselves,'My Friends.'"

"I've heard of them, pretty small time."

"I've only been in Gotham for about half a week-"

"WHAT!" Joker screamed.

"What?" David asked.

"A week?"

"Yup."

"And you already supposedly beat Batman?"

"Yup?"

"...That is the best joke I have ever heard."

"It's funny because it's true."

"pffffffffffthahahahhahHAHAHAHHAH! I can't get enough you, you really are on par with Batsy! This is going to be such fun!"

...

"Race you to the cafeteria, Joker!" David challenged.

"Game on!" Joker shouted before running across the dark complex.

 _'In the time I've got to know Joker I have to say I'm conflicted. I'm aware this could be a one time thing, hell, he might plan to kill me for getting closer to killing Batman than he has. He seems pretty cool so far but I haven't witnesses him during a killing yet, which I hear is when his true colors show...'_ David thought. _'But then again, even Joker is still human, there are certain times when people will even be willing to kill another for no reason... it just happens that Joker is perpetually stuck in that one mood, so he's adapted to it... or as well as the mind can.'_

 _'I'm probably wrong though, maybe he really is just a monster that I caught in a good mood. Joker... Wait, where is Joker?'_

"Joker, buddy, are you there?" David yelled across the closed mall.

Once they had decided to ditch the bank plan, the mall seemed to be the main interest to both of them. David said he dragged Joker out here in the beginning, he might as well pay. They walked and talked to the mall only to discover that neither of them knew it was two hours past the closing time. Joker suggested they blew the door up, only for David to refute, saying, "Gotham is lazy, follow me." and taking Joker through an unlocked "Employees Only" door. They decided to race one another and boom, Joker is gone.

David, however, has been visiting every nook and cranny and is _making bank_ off of the cash registers.

"THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND,YEEEEEEEEEEEEE- oh hey this shirt looks nice." David commented.

"... oh my god, it's one of those sport cars that they put in malls, please god please." David pleaded, opening up the door and getting giddy like a teenage girl meeting a boy band once he saw the glint of keys.

"Damn, I'm going to need to steal a licence first, heh, Joker would love that... oh yeah, I should look for him."

 _'This is good practice for planning.'_ David thought.

 _'This beauty will be the getaway car should I discover something unsavory.'_ David thought while putting stolen supplies in the trunk, _'Good, it's roomy. So I'm in the southern entrance side of the mall. I could head eastwards where the gym is, memberships cost, like, twenty a week, they ought to have something. I could also head west where the new pizzaria-_ _ **no,**_ _the Joker, find Joker... Maybe he's at the gym?'_ David thinks before heading off.

...

"Not at the gym, not at the **anywhere!** " David shouted on his 3rd trip returning stolen goods to _Spooky_ , the name he gave the car _. 'four-hundred thousand, yay... Did he seriously leave me here?'_

"Damn, I've been busy, it's only been twenty minutes..."

 _'Where else can I check... Oh my god. I'm an idiot. THE CAFETERIA!'_ David thought taking off running.

 _'How in the name of god have I not checked the place we agreed to race to?'_ David scolded himself.

As David approached the cafeteria, the sounds of a struggle could be heard _. 'Dear lord I left him to Batman for twenty minutes?'_

"JOKER I'M-"

"Oh... Hi?"

What David saw was Joker and Harley _('where did she come from?')_ surrounded by the Bat Family... the entire crusade. Batman, Batgirl, Nightwing, Robin, and the Red Hood...' _Batman really does work alone.'_

The plan didn't even need to be thought of in order for David to take action... by that he means he's winging it.

"Sorry, I took so long, but I found a fully functional sports car with a coincidental four-hundred thousand dollars in it near the southern entrance- what's this? I have a totally lethal grenade, oh no!"

 _'Joker gets the Joke.'_ David thought. He was right, Joker was trying to keep a _'your going to lose face.'_ but instead was making in a _'Holy shit I'm gonna pee.'_ Harley looks love struck at the night in shining armor _'Damn it.'_... The moment Joker and David couldn't hold it in anymore was when **every single member** of the bat family let out an audible gasp and took a step back at the word, "Lethal."

"hehehe-Come on!" David yelled throwing a few pellets and a grenade at the family, giving them enough time to gain some distance.

"Well, it took someone long enough!" Joker yelled.

"I may have forgot about where we were racing, but hey! I looked everywhere!"

"Except the biggest room in the complex?"

"Yeah! And hell, you can keep three hundred thousand if you want!"

"Three hundred and fifty!"

"Go fu-"

"Boys!" Harley yelled.

"What!" Both of them yelled.

"They're catching up... Fast!"

 _'... Friends help friends...'_ David thought.

"Joker!"

"Yeah?"

"You and Harley take that orange **sports car** with the **money** in it and go, I'll hold them off, think of it like a bad joke." David yelled.

Joker nodded, Harley looked love struck x2 at her night in shining Armor _'shit'_ and they both took off, David, meanwhile, threw more pellet at the bats effectively getting them all to land in front of him.

" I knew that would get your attention. They pop and bruise against normal skin, I learned that when I squeezed a bunch of them on accident and almost blew my hand off." David said, trying to buy time enough time in between Joker and Harley's escape and his own.

"You're in cahoots with them?" Batman asked.

"Actually, me and Joker were just hanging out... I have no idea where Harley came from."

"Nightwing, Batgirl, Robin, go keep tabs on a speeding orange sports car." Batman ordered. _'Probably shouldn't have said that out loud.'_ David thought.

"Me and Red Hood will take care of this man." Batman said.

Immediately once the ordered three tried to leave, they were hit with dozens upon dozens of smoke pellets and it hurt, especially Robin, who doesn't wear thick plating, but instead a _...'what is that thing, a skin suit, oh god that must have destroyed him.'_ upon examining the boy wonder David concluded that he was right _,_ "Robin, I know that those things hurt like hell and what your wearing looks like a damn swim suit, I can tell by your pose. I made that pose a lot when I was a child, that face, I recognize it a mile away. Come on kid, this isn't your fight." David told Robin, eye to eye. _'Just don't want to hurt him any more than I have to.'_

"This isn't any of your fights, well, except maybe you, Red Hood. If I beat you," David said pointing at batman,"Then what hope do your disciples have... no response, huh... fine, I'll take you all on, I haven't even tried hard my entire time in Gotham, this should do it."

 _'...nothing is happening...'_ "Come on, come at me, all of you... I'll throw more smoke pellets at Robin, make him look like someone on 'Botched' by the time I'm done."

"...Fine, have it your way." David said before throwing smoke pellets twords the ground.

Before the smoke started to clear, Robin was down, albeit it not taking much to take him out.

 _'Red Hood's next.'_ David, looking around for something powerful to hit him with, found a crowbar. As the smoke cleared, David snuck up on Red hood and got a good whack in with the crowbar. Once Red Hood was on the ground, David hit Red Hood in the head with it two more times, making sure he was unconscious. David tossed the crowbar away.

The smoke cleared and left two people shocked, and another too good at hiding emotion to be able to get a good read.

"No more smoke pellets, I swear, all right?" David said, he was exhausted from running, perfectly throwing dozens of half-inch pellets at people, and having to take out two people in the span of twenty or so seconds. David's stamina was actually pretty low, especially in situations like these.

David suddenly has to dodge a kick from bat girl, a punch from Nightwing, a battarang from Batman, a battarang from Nightwing, two battarangs from Batgirl, Batman taking the offensive and unloading on David, which David dodges all of the assault. David can't get a single hit in.

David suddenly goes my the offensive, using much to much stamina in order to run around and get a good lock on Nightwing. David makes a sharp turn and gets the drop on Nightwing, using his one moment to it's fullest potential, unleashing a long and hard combo on him, leaving him down.

Despite the win, It's the moment that David can't dodge any longer, gets battaranged, gets battaranged again, gets kicked and punched that he has sufficient space for an escape.

Davids coughs up a bit of blood, "Oh no, internal bleeding , gotta clean this up, later." David said dropping the rest of his pellets and a smoke grenade.

David manages to escape but just barely, managing to limp into an empty dumpster and drop unconscious.

...

"Bruce, that guy was really tough, who was he?" Barbara asked, carrying Damien and Nightwing.

"I have no idea." Bruce answered.

"Really? Usually when you meet a... unique, character like that you try to find out who they are."

"I'm not really sure who he is. This isn't my first time meeting him, the other times where... exhausting. He is a very dangerous foe, however, and if you ever spot him while on patrol contact me immediately and tail him." Bruce ordered.

"Alright." Barbara agreed.

 _'He was able to take out Nightwing with a single opportunity, he may not be insane, but he is still committing a crime by sucking the mall dry and who knows what else... him and the Joker where just hanging out?'_ Bruce questioned.

 _'Joker has friends?'_


	7. Chapter 7

'No killing... that will really add to the Batman jokes.' David thought.

The man who David was basically forced to kill was eating at his thoughts again. _'I wasn't forced to kill him, I didn't need to, I could have tried to knock him out again. I may have just not tried hard enough.'_ Nonetheless, David killed someone, unscrewed their light bulb. David can just imagine being in a state of unimaginable fear, then having your vision go dark into unknown territory. There were probably people who knew that man and weep over him! What if a kid found the body? Oh god, what if the _Bat_ found his body, it was in Gotham territory, wasn't it? Yes, it was, which means the Bat has seen it. Oh god, there was a ton of evidence that I left. I destroyed my records but he is still the Batman, with his unknown resources, my claims could all be bluff. Batman might already know the story.

It doesn't require a telling, he shot a dude. The man had a device on his neck that David guessed kept his gears running because he wouldn't stay down. David beat and beat the man, and his face was one of contorting horror. He was attacking David, yet he seemed paralyzed in fear, it creeped David out. Eventually David busted the machine and the man dropped, face stuck. It was only then that the gravity of the situation began to set in. David sent a good hour just _looking_ at the unnamed man's face. He had guessed a simple hypothesis: The machine was forcing him to fight David. It was technically in self defense, but still **, the man clearly didn't want to fight.** David beat on him with all his strength, for so long, that the man had an agonizing death. David couldn't get the thought out of his head _, 'I tortured someone.'_ The man was unknown. He could have been a successful doctor or a thug, didn't matter, still a person. David decided that at some point, he needed to figure out what the thing on the guys neck was.

So yeah, no killing. It might sound corny, but no killing.

David was running from rooftop to rooftop, getting use to style, plus he liked free running. This suit needs bulletproofing, which called for good material, which calls for the town of Good... that's the name, and it's the most ironic thing David has ever heard. The town is basically a smuggler for Gotham... in fact, calling the town a "town" would be incorrect, it's more like a trade post... for Gotham. It's as close as a town can get to off the radar, and has tyranny going in terms of authority. The villains use it as a way to trade around the goods, and dear lord were there some sorts of goods, whenever it goes in and out of **Gotham**.

His starting price was five hundred thousand. David had went cross country and practiced at who knows how many states, he had quite the sum.

Bullet proof vest's material. Never mind, riot shields.

Might as well take the price up. Seven hundred thousand. Never mind. Two million.

Graphene. _Graphene._ Basically one of, if not the, strongest materials in existence. Alright, done deal. His suit had gotten completely refurbished, but still held the ' _I made this bad boy'_ smell to it.

...David has already paid for it which is cool _...'yeah, cool... 2 million dollars... cool.'_

Instantly, as if walking into a factory during rush hour, the doors opened up to a bunch of thugs working on something, multiple thing, but his suit was _majestic_. It was tougher, better, bigger, badder, and more scary.

"AH! Shadow! AH-HAahahaha, my good sir! We are very happy to see you here. We have made many improvements to your suit!" A random goon said.

"I asked for graphene." David said.

"Yes, but you had given so much!" The goon retorted.

"Well, over the layer of graphene, we have regenerative material to build up what your suit takes in, and over that, is reinforced steel, bank vault type stuff. Regenerative material works on that too. We now have bullet proof glass over the eyelids, guaranteed to never stain! It's also lighter than before, we noticed that it took on quite the weight. We also put in many hidden pockets."

"Wow! Thanks!" David responded, genuinely surprised at all the work they put in.

"That's not all." The goon said.

"We added gadgets."

"Gadgets?"

"Grapple. A shooter that is suited for customization. Your palms can taser people... that's all I remember at the moment. Here is a small manual on it. " The goon finished, handing David the manual.

"Wow, uh, thanks, guys." David commented, not sure how to take this in.

"We have a few finishing modification to make, please stay in the waiting room, Shadow." The goon said, turning away, as did David.

' _Holy crap, this open up a whole new_ _ **world**_ _of opportunity's'_. David thought walking into the wait room.

 _'Thank god, the room is empty, other than... Harley, huh, YAH FUCK YES NO NO NO GOD DAMMIT ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...'_ David thought for a minute.

 _'Well, ought to make myself known.'_

David went and sat down next to Harley. Harley was so entranced in her phone she didn't even notice David. David tapped Harley's shoulder. In faster than you could say "Mistah J" her face went from anger, to shock, to joy.

"Shadow! How did you get here, why are you here, uh, I was so bored!" Harley said, hugging Shadow.

"I made modifications to my suit." David said, uneasy _. 'she might still try to... oh never mind.'_

As David was thinking, Harley turned around, never losing any immersion from the brief chat.

 _'Harley... she deals with a lot. Joker was cool to me but I know how he can get. I read the documents, hell, it isn't even a secret among the media. Joker abuses Harley, emotionally and physically. Joker has a tendency to be more of a whiner so she also has to deal with that. I'm not sure how deep it goes but I read in one of the reports that Harley was hospitalized a few times. If she deals with that, then she deserves a prize... I guess I'll take her out for dinner, show her the night... Isn't this the_ _ **opposite**_ _of what I want to happen? Whatever, I think I would kill myself if I had to spend a month with an angry Joker.'_

"Hey, Harley?"

"Ya, shady?" Harley asked.

"Why are you here?"

"Mr. J kicked me out again, I was looking for a place to stay. it usually last about a month or two." Harley answered.

 _'Don't say what I think your gonna say.'_ David warned himself.

 _'But she was kicked out, most likely literally.'_ David argued.

 _'Still! **two months.** '_

 _'She doesn't have anywhere to go, she's lost.'_

 _'...Fine, I swear to god if you even so much as hold hands-'_

 _'Alright, relent!'_

"Harley, how about you come stick with me, I can take you to dinner after I get my suit, how about it?" David asked.

"Really!" Harley screamed, David smiled.

"Yeah, sure, I can show you my place."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Harley repeated. "I wasn't really looking forward to spending the next few months with a gangster."

"Alright, let's get the suit and go." David said. Harley skipped along.

"Ah, Shadow, we present to you your new suit." The same goon said as the two walked through the door.

"Oooooooooh." Harley said. As did David. The suit was in noticably better condition and was also improved upon, you could tell by looking at it.

"Remember to read the manual, you'll need to know how to use it correctly." The goon stated.

"Thanks guys." David said, waving, he would really need to come back here sometime.

"So, have a ride." David asked.

"...OH YEAH! I need to give that stuff to you!" Harley said. David wondered what she was talking about until he saw it.

"SPOOKY!" David screamed upon seeing the sports car once again.

"And 50 grand, both yours." Harley said, handing the keys.

"Wow, thank you guys." David said, getting in.

"Don't mention it." Harley said.

"... Wait so fifty grand." David asked.

"Yeah, I tried to get him to turn up the price, said you were deserving, but... he declined." Harley said.

' _Oh shit, lit dynamite under a bridge this time, I guess I should take her mind off the subject'_ David grabbed Harley and hugged her. "Well, thanks for trying." David commented.

"Yeah, well, I still got my sights on you, ya know." She responded. _'Great. Well at least I might be able to hit a vault a little bigger now.'_

"We should get back to my place." David said, turning on the ignition and entering the rode.

"...So how much has the suit cost so far." Harley asked.

"Two million and a hundred dollars. I first patched it up, then I got the modifications, which was two million." David honestly answered.

"Really! Two million!" Harley asked. _'I have four million now.'_ David thought.

"Good job, you're staying with a millionaire." David Joked.

"... Well, where will I sleep, I'm tired." Harley asked, yawning.

 _'Yeah, I bet you are.'_ " Take a cat nap while we drive, it will be a while." David said.

"Alright." Harley responded laying her head down.

 _'So this is interesting, I have Harley Quinn with me now, cool. Maybe I can meet some other people with her connections. I still should take her out for a bite later.'_

...

"WOW! This place is so nice, you've been busy!" Harley exclaimed.

"I guess I have." David responded, it wasn't all that great. There was a kitchen, bathroom, living room, extra room, and David's work place. Plans, research, crafting. Anything to do with anybody is done in there. Useful.

"I guess I can sleep on the couch." Harey said _...'I'm lonely me.'_ David thought to himself.

 _'Hell no. She is just going to go back to puddin' in the end and you know that. You know rehabilitation is impossible.'_

 _'Sure, yeah, but I think today was the first day I've hugged someone in years.'_

 _'...fine, cuddle, make out, sex, I don't care. You're so into her mate.'_

 _'I wouldn't go into that-'_

 _'Mate, mate, you are totally picking her, mate.'_

 _'Fuck this, Fuck you, I'm done.'_ David finished.

"You can sleep in my bed, it's queen."

"Really?" Harley asked

"Yeah, binge, watch some TV, do what you want. I'm going to sleep, though, I'm really tired." David admitted.

"Hey,maybe we can snuggle... oh yeah!" Harley exclaimed then pulled out her phone, then sitting on the couch.

"I'm dumb when I'm tired so do what you want." David told her.

As David closed the door, _'I knew soundproofing these would come in useful.',_ He laid on his bed. Tomorrow, take Harley out for a bite. Next day, get use to new suit. Good, he had a plan.

 _'I'm sure it will go well.'_ David finally thought to himself.

 **...**

 **DON'T READ THIS.**

 **SPOILER.**

 **SPOILER.**

 **I TRIED NOT TO I REALLY DID BUT I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE THE QUIN. It WILL end eventually (SPOILER). We need to get Scarecrow, who I'm looking forward too, in somehow (SPOILER).**


	8. Chapter 8 - Arkham

"Your suit was improved." Batman noted, not even looking at David..

"I also now have smoke bullets instead of smoke pellets, for those special baddies." David added.

David was just walking about, running from rooftop to rooftop when he suddenly collided with Batman. Literally. He was busy bandaging his hand, _'I have to hold my hand upwards so the grapple doesn't tear it to shreds, I should really get to reading the manual',_ after testing out the grapple and using it incorrectly. He was also sore, he had no idea how to land and was sent at a vehicles speed twords a stone wall, crashing **through** it. _'I brushed off being hit by a car once, I can handle that.'_ David reassured himself. Back to the Batman... ' _It isn't pretty. It's awkward, and I think Batman might hate me. I never thought taking to someone could be difficult, but hear I am...'_

"So... wanna hear something funny. I thought White Mask was cheesy, but now I adorn the name Shadow, It's better but there is a lot of room for improvement... Need to spark something, huh? I know we relate on one idea. The idea is... No killing." David said.

"You don't kill?" Batman asked. _'I knew it would work.'_ David thought.

"Uh-hu. I have killed one man in my lifetime. It wasn't under the most believable circumstances and was _technically_ self-defense but still... you know, I don't really like to talk about it. I don't kill." _'I have the device with me, don't I? Maybe I can give it to him... give it to my enemy, uh, sound smart. Still...'_

"I want you to take this. find out what it is. It isn't in the best condition. The man I killed was being controlled by it." David stated. _'I can get the drop on him. End this Bat-shit conversation.'_

Batman took the device. "I know what this is. It's a device that burrows deep into a persons body, get control of the muscle system and gets them to do what they want. They disintegrate along with a the part of the muscle they were attached to, causing mass internal bleeding and killing the wearer. " Batman said, as if reading on a script.

"Well this guy was attacking me." David said.

"You may have been walking in on something important and the man you killed was a bodyguard. I need to know where you found this, these cases have been popping up all over Gotham, where was it?" Batman asked.

"UHH! Well, It was next to the abandoned water containment facility near the outskirts of Gotham. On the right of the huge water towers, down in one of the alleyways." David answered.

Batman nodded, "Even if it the location you provided isn't of help, this device is. This is the only whole, or at least partially, device I have." Batman said, putting the device in his pocket. When Batman looked up, David was gone. Batman was confused until he was suddenly kicked in the back, sending him skidding across the ground, wet from rain. Whenever Batman recovers, he dodged a punch from David, who then raised his arm twords Batman. Suddenly, smoke pellets shot out of the suit twords Batman. Batman turned on his thermal only to see David preparing to grapple out of there.

David was preparing to leave. _'I just wanted to give Batman the signal: We're not friends here. He is still the main thing holding me back from dominating Gotham, plus I'm lazy.'_ Suddenly David was slammed to the ground. "You're still a wanted criminal, I took the evidence from your suits footprint and analyzed it. The footprint matches 100's of other crime scenes around the country. **Your** footprint matches 100's of other crime scenes from around the country. Your wanted in 34 states, congratulations. You're coming with me to GCPD. You'll take a test to see if you'll be sent to Arkham. I have no doubt you will. You'll be allowed to send a letter to anyone at any address you choose, which unfortunately, the law prevents anyone from reading." Batman finished, cuffing David and putting him in the back seat of the Batmobile.

"Isn't that where they send the criminally insane and what not?" David asked.

"It's also where they send those too dangerous for the regular cells. You can be sure that I'm adding our first meetup to the details, so you can be sure that you'll be going into Arkham." Batman answered. David grinned at remembering that he get's to say,"I kicked Batman's ass."

"I'll be eaten in there!" David dramatically exclaimed.

"You beat me in a fight because I didn't take you seriously. You'll be put in a cell with the top of the top, in Arkham. The guards will know of what you managed, as well as all the prisoners and the therapist... I can say for certain that you'll be fine."

"Therapist." David said flatly. At the mention of therapist, David stiffens. The people who couldn't just make David become **average** , they could do it with ease and were **suppose** to do it.

"Yes. You will be subjected to therapy sessions daily." Batman said. "This only happens to people who are considered insane or volunteer for it." He added.

"I'm not volunteering." David said.

"Alright." Batman said.

"... So, how exactly does Arkham work?" David asked.

"Hm?" Batman asked back.

"Stuff like the schedule." David answered.

"The lights go on at nine in the morning... You'll sit in the cell until Showers... well, you won't, then you'll sit in your cell until lunch at the cafeteria-"

"Cafeteria, you takes Gotham's greatest criminals and give them a **cafeteria**?" David asked, giggling.

"The country declares it inhumane to do so otherwise. They say it's not right to deprive people social interaction for to long." Batman stated.

"Yeah, sure, but... come on dude." David said.

"I agree." Batman responded.

David thought... Burglary counts **everywhere.** David also figured a murder count will be charged, since he basically confessed. He attacked Batman and his Bat-family so assault is finally on the list.

"What is the cafeteria like?" David asked.

"Your cafeteria is small, with one table. Inside will be the other high-up inmates. Sit where you like." Batman said.

"Ha-ha, yeah, but, where should I sit?" David demanded.

"I have no idea, I've seen the camera's. Inmates usually just sit spaced out from on another and it eventually fills up." Batman answered.

"Guards?" David continued.

"Tons of them, gear next to military grade, wearing sound proof headgear." Batman answered.

"Soundproof...headgear... in a room with people who could be scheming or arranging plans to their face, and no one is the wiser?"

Batman sighed. "The government also states that privacy is important to keep a person's brain healthy..." Batman said.

David let his laughter rip, he couldn't keep it in. "AHAHAHHAHAHA, it's-uhah-so-AHAhaha- **stupid** -huah..."

David was actually perking up at the thought of meeting the other super villains, _'See Ivy, purr... Meet the Riddler... Scarecrow, he seems interesting... Oh, I might see Joker again!'_

"So, Batman... What do you think in all this?" David asked.

"...What?" Batman asked.

"You've seen things in this job, surely you don't just do it like a mummy. What do you think of it all?" David asked again.

"I do this for satisfaction. I turn in those who hurt others." batman blankly stated.

"You're giving me the "Thug" answer, I want a **real** answer." David demanded.

"No." Batman responded. Now get ready, we'll take your suit. Are you wearing anything underneath?" Batman asked.

"Please don't take the suit away, I feel naked without it, especially in these circumstances, surely you understand."

Batman did understand but didn't comment on it. "Are you wearing anything underneath?" He asked again.

David sighed. "Yes. A black jumpsuit."

"Good... we'll be taking that to." David responded.

"AH COME ON!" David shouted.

...

Damn, he was itchy.

David was stuck in an empty interrogation room with an inch he couldn't scratch because of the handcuffs, and Damn, it was a bad one. Like, really bad. David was wearing a standard prison suit.

The room was, who guessed, roomy, with a barred window. The light from the room came through giving the room a bright air. "It's little details like this that can help my mood. I feel it." David said closing his eyes, "A bit of brightness."

The actual room was concrete, literally, it was all concrete. The two chairs and desk jutted out the floor. _'The chairs being concrete hurts David's ass so bad that he thinks his anus might pop out.'_ David's ankle was cuffed to the concrete chair leg.

interrupting his little moment, was commissioner Gordon, Batman, and another person, a women. The woman sat down While Batman and Gordon took corners. Batman was giving them the full report of what he knew about David and their past interactions. They knew everything. The woman set a recorder down and pressed play.

"So, Batman told me you were aware of this meeting?" The woman asked.

"To get a profile on me, I guess, and to see if I deserve Arkham asylum." David responded.

"Yes, exactly. Let's cut to the point, what is your name?" The woman asked.

David practiced this, he has trained for this.

"Leo Howel Goodman, full name." David calmly stated.

"Alright, age?"

"38."

"Birthplace."

"Kindred Hospital in Kindred, California." Actual birthplace. It was the name that put it all together.

"A summary of your childhood."

Uh oh, David couldn't think of anything so he had no choice: tell the truth."I grew up in Kindred, it was a pretty big town. It was a honky town. I hated it there. Let me go into detail here: Hated it. You know how whenever you just as much punch an eight year old, they're fucking traumatized and that marks them forever? Well, My sister **fed** me lies since I was... well, forever. I **aspired** to be like her, the person who knew the truth, how the world actually worked. It came at a sad price though: It sucked. My negativity took over. It became all I felt... It was imprinted." after what David had said, he didn't want to talk more. It physically hurt himself to even talk about this. David forced himself to continue, "Do you know how long a day is? Long. Way too long. Every minute was like a year. I cried only three times because of it, and it hurt, but it didn't help. I hated people so much, I hated her so much. I hated everyone so much."

...

"My parents died when I was young, so my sister and me found refuge among a foster center for a month then was adopted... by fucking mongrels, I hated them. The man had a maturity perpetually stuck in a kindergartner state, the women could deal with that, took it. The man, just, **ARR!** It gets me riled up talking about this. I have never felt as deep a hatred of existence for Forcing me to deal with that."

...

"My parent's death? Well, it was a gang robbery. My father was stabbed to death, I saw it. My mother was brutally raped and beaten, I saw it. I was beaten...something else happened during... and I remember all of it, it as the only thing from four years old I remember. Don't know who did it.

...

"School? You ask? No. I was gifted in terms of maturity. They were cracking sex jokes and I forced myself to smile and laugh. My smiling is the primary thing I focused on whenever telling about schooldays. I **always** smiled. It **hurt** I smiled so much, I didn't even realize that I did it at first. **I smiled for them, for the ones who don't realize what I give to them and look down on me because they don't want to look at themselves and accept that this is what they're also forced to deal with, and I'm just there, smiling, for them."**

...

"I... can't... really... release anger... I just haven't found the right way, and, I mean... "release anger" What does that even mean?"

...

"It all changed though whenever **it** happened. That stupid **whore and that stupid man** thought it would be a good idea to send me to help with work at the nuclear plant. They were right. I remember the day perfectly..."

...

"... And so, my memory get hazy here, I fell into the experimental waste and soaked it all up. If footage exist, then I didn't find it. I'm not... actually sure what happen after this. I just remember all the anger and rage bottled up coming out, I wasn't me anymore. I remember walking off, looking behind me... and seeing nothing."

...

 _Dear Harley,_

 _They won't read this, you know that. It appears I dun goofed, hun. I was caught by the Batman and now I need your help in getting out of here. You've done it before, right? I am terribly, terribly sorry about not being able to take you to dinner, dear. However, I ask you to wait one week. ONE WEEK. I need connections, and I'll get them here. In Arkham. I don't have a bank, I have a safe. It's in a hidden floorboard in my closet. You can buy food and anything you may need. The safe combination isn't important. The key is in the top of the tall cabinet in my room, under the Guitar manual. I don't even play guitar. If you can, make it a mass escape. You know the outline of Arkham, you told me. There is a switch somewhere that opens all the gates, I know that it's required in all prisons. I need you to sneak in, switch the switches, and you know what to do. I actually enjoy your company, so please make it out. If you do this for me, Harley, then I promise I will take you on the greatest night you've ever had, I'm paying!_

 _Love ya! Shadow_

There, the letter is sent. David grinned at the thought that they couldn't read it. _'Harley is such a nice gal, I think I might be falling for her, heh. But those thoughts are for another time, Arkham. I'm in it, and I can have some fun.'_ David thought.

His cell was quality stuff... in Arkham... Shit, who was David kidding, it was shit.

It was kinda bigger than the other cells in the facility but that was only to make room for the shower head and drain. David has a built in shower _. 'At least they care.'_

Oh, but David beat Batman, it was the rolling rumor among the entire staff and inmates. He heard someone shout "Shadow, OH-RA!" followed by the entire cell division "OH-RA!" It made David got giddy at how flattering everyone was being. David has two guards by his cell. David swears he hears them **flinch** whenever he makes a sudden sound. They have guns. They could shoot David. They flinch. This is what David finds funny.

"Lunch in thirty minutes, convict. You're first! We go now." The guard yelled. The guard yelled.

"Now? Alright." David said, putting his hands up and getting cuffed.

The guards led David down twords the lunchroom. The other cells were also doors with only little bars to see through. They were Iron. David was reinforced Iron with steel bolts. David had no idea which inmate the doors belong to.

As they walked through the doors, David was fucking amazed. Everyone stopped, the guards tensed up, preparing, **They** know what's about to happen, it hasn't even been a second yet. Then time goes to normal.

Everyone in the room screams! David can't tell what they're saying but they're smiling. Yelling. Someone manages to get a high five on David, before he's tackled by a guard.

Then he's taken into the top inmates cafeteria. The doors close, soundproof. There are trays sat on a separate table for each inmate. David takes his and sits down in the left corner seat of the table, David doesn't want to really socialize with anyone on his first day. His plate has a chocolate cookie, a burger, fries, and some fruit _...'actually, I just microwave burritos every night for dinner, so this is a proper meal.'_

Then, in comes Firefly. Firefly looks to David and smiles, but then frowns and burrows his head in confusion. Firefly sits across the table from David, on the opposite side, David can't tell what he's eating _. 'I hear he sees visions of flames... did he see something when he looked at me?'_ David wondered. _'Great, whenever somebody walks in, they're going to analyze me.'_

Then, afterwards, came the Mad Hatter. He didn't seem to pay David any mind. However, as he passed Hatter told David, "You would be a good character."... _'what does that mean?'_ David wondered. _'Does he like me, does he think that I could make good fan fiction, what the hell?'_ He took the seat in the middle of the table on the right side.

After Hatter, came Croc, being led by his own special containment squad. There was a pile of raw meat in the corner. "My favorite." He commented in a... crocodile voice, David decided. David thought for a second that the man's crocodile eye might have flashed twords him.

Next, came scarecrow, _'He wants to talk, we'll talk, I can tell. My gut doesn't lie.'_ David thought.

As predicted, he came and sat down next to David, "Hey." Scarecrow started.

"Yeah?" David asked, covering his mouth as he was asked while eating a fry.

"That mask." Scarecrow said. "It's mouth in jagged, the eye sockets move in sync with your facial muscle. There are no signs of attachment. It's perfect. Where did you get it?" Scarecrow asked.

"It's handmade, friend. And there aren't any attachments, It's sealed to my face."

"What, how?"

"An accident."

"... That's it?"

"Look, if you want my life story, then I'll get you the cassette tapes of the interview, you'll find it there."

"The interviews, you gave out your past?"

"Yeah, I had to wing it. Seriously, a "summary" of my childhood? Those aren't in the movies." David said. "Anyway, they make copies, I know that... plus, let's keep this next bit tight, alright?" David asked. Scarecrow nodded and leaned in.

"I have Harley Quinn coming sometime soon for a mass breakout, requested by me." David whispered.

"...Can she be trusted?" Scarecrow asked.

"Normally, hell no. This situation is different, I can't really give all the details out in one sitting. Know though, that for now, Harley is temporarily my sidekick. As long as she doesn't see the Joker during the following week, she should be fine." David said. Scarecrow nodded.

"Why are you telling me this?" Scarecrow asked.

"Because, I'm bored, and you seem like you could lead to some interesting stuff. This being said, we should work together sometime." David said.

"I'll think about it." Scarecrow stated.

"I get that we just met, so we'll need to get along, let's talk about fear." David couldn't help himself, he liked making people happy, and a good conversation makes anyone happy.

"Fear is complicated." Scarecrow said, interested in where this was going.

"Subjective."

"Subjective?"

"Subjective. It works differently for different people... well, if your trying to explain it to a simpleton. Fear works differently for everyone, but it's all the same. They could react to fear in vastly different ways-each way they react to fear different each time and maybe the same a few times. However, that **feeling** , that feeling of dread and sickening paranoia is still there in every one of their reactions, creeping up twords them but evaporated by a reaction... or not. Sometimes nothing happens to stop the dread... and a new reaction will occur. It could be similar to other past reactions. You could cry or even have a mental breakdown, based on the severity. Reactions. Sometimes it can leave what fear is defined by and contort into Rage. Reactions. Sometimes it could leave what fear could even be called and turn into bravery. Reactions." David finished. "Reactions, that's all any emotion is, really. You feel those things but your reactions tell what you do with them." David added.

Scarecrow was at a loss. The man wasn't wrong, fear really is ultimately reaction, but to hear him say all that so casually... "Sure, I'll work with you." Scarecrow ultimately said.

"Good to know." David said. David hasn't noticed that everyone is sat down now, the table being so long that there were still a few empty seats left. Joker wasn't there. But others were.

Other than the ones he noticed come in, there was now Poison Ivy _,_ Riddler, Zsasz, Mister Freeze, Hush, Bane, Deathstroke, and finally Two-Face.

 _'Seriously, though, I need to work out that Ivy shit.'_ David thought to himself. He had been treating a **potted plant** like family for the past day and plans to for the next week. The plant will be happy n' shit and then he'll give it to Ivy. She'll see how David took care of the plant and _'will fucking melt over me yeah yeah, keep it going buddy.'_

"How will we contact each other?" David asked Scarecrow.

"Hm? Oh, I have my ways." Scarecrow confidently stated.

...

"What is your opinion on life, like the meaning of it?" The therapist asked. These therapy sessions were already boring.

"Life is nothing more than human instinct. We put our own definition on the meaning of life. Some people can't handle that and go and create religion, and we all know how that went!" David exclaimed.

"What does that mean?" The therapist asked.

"There isn't a meaning to life. Any meaning to life is created by the human mind, counts for religion, hell, religion has led to some scary stuff in the past." David answered.

...

The next week progressed slow. With David managing a chat with a Riddler and it went... interestingly.

David was **poor-fuckin'-shit** as Mad Hatter put it, who was listening in, at riddles. David couldn't even answer the first one.

"What gains it's head at night, but loses it in the morning?" Riddler ask David.

David said sleeping caps after 10 minutes of thinking. Riddler literally got up and walked to the other side of the table. Scarecrow later commented," That it happens to everyone, don't think about it." Still, the embarrassment severed David.

Something David wasn't warned about occurred on Thursday, though. An opportunity. There was an allowed free time in a room about to be seen by David, who bought his healthy plant along. It was a huge complex where the villains could have some peace of mind. Gotham wasn't sure about it but it ended up being a huge success. Villains always wanted to dominate Gotham but when in here, they seemed calm. Bruce Wayne funded it, calling it something he could be proud of. Bruce went to visit the villains during the period of time, they were calm, at peace in an otherwise not so peaceful life.

David thought it was a colorful fucking room.

It had these little "areas" that people could go into to fit their needs... what? Why? Ivy was obviously going to be in the planty area, so he might as well head over there.

"David, wait, you don't want to go in there, she'll-" But Scarecrows voice was soon lost.

As David approached he found what looked like a shell, so he knocked. It opened up to reveal a planty hallway so David plantily walked down it. Soon it revealed the lady herself, Poison Ivy. She looked at David.

She wears practically nothing as clothing whenever she's alone.

"Uh-I-Uh." David stuttered. "I thought, we haven't communicated at all, so I got you this." David said, handing the plant to Ivy."

"I know that plants probably don't like being kept alone but-" David was interrupted by Ivy.

"Wait, wait...hmmm. heheheh, this guy seems pretty happy with you." Ivy responded, handing the plant back to David. "You've done a good job. He likes you." Ivy responded.

"Uh... THANKS!" David said before trying to walk away.

"Wait." Ivy demanded. David stopped.

"You do realize, you're not allowed in here, right?" Ivy asked, getting up and walking twords David.

"I'm not?" David asked, straightening my back. It will be in self defense if Ivy tries anything, so David wouldn't be completely at fault.

"That's right. Whenever man walks into my domain that I've established here in this facility I punish them. I do this." Ivy said before getting on her tip toes in order to kiss David on the lips.

The accident made David immune to stuff like this, David forgot about that.

 _'Oh no, I know about the mind control stuff... But nothings happening. And Ivy is kissing me, I could use this to my advantage.'_ David thought, leaning into the kiss.

Ivy realizes that nothing is happening to David and pulls back,"Huh?" she exclaimed.

"Chemicals! And by the way, thanks. Now you've shown me I can't trust you, which means that we can't hang, which doesn't help Shadow's mood." David says as he walks off.

"Deathstroke, let's spar." David tells Deathstroke.

"What?" Deathstroke asked.

"Let's spar." David tells Deathstroke.

"Hm. Alright." Deathstroke tells David.

"You can use the swords, I don't really care." David tells Deathstroke. _'Wait, they let him keep his swords?'_

"...You make the the first move." Deathstroke tells David.

David nods, before charging twords Deathstroke. This was gonna be fun.

...

"HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO ARKHAM!" A high pitch voice rang out among the entire facility.

David was still a bit sore after the fight with Deathstroke. Didn't matter, David has been waiting for this moment.

 _tssssss_ _ **BOOM**_

"What the fuck?" David said aloud. The entire facility shook. Also didn't matter, because David heard his door unlock.

"Now if everyone would just take...well, any exit they want, then you're free to go, hunny!" David was certain that it was Harley on the intercom.

David peaked outside, his guards were gone, distracted by the explosion. David began running, trying to find a window or something.

Once David found a window, he was surprised, to say the least. Harley decided to set up a bomb in the food storage, the entire section of the building was lit.

David could see spooky. 'In the far end of the parking lot, that's Harley's ride.'

'I don't think I can find a rope, I need to find a suitable exit.' David thought to himself running down the strangely empty hallways. 'Where is everyone? I guess they concentrate in certain areas. If I hear screaming, turn around.'

David runs for a while, he doesn't hear anything _. 'How deep in Arkham did I go? I haven't ran into a single staircase yet but-oh, alright, I stand corrected.'_

The area David was currently in was dark and murky...moist. David begins to walk down a long stairway going down. There were cracks going down along the concrete walls, most of them were so severe, they must have been there a while.

David made it to the door, it was wooden and rotten. David grabbed the oily doorknob and turned. David, being a bit creeped at this piont, decided to just swing the door open.

It was clearly a type of tunnel, but degraded past anything he's ever seen. David couldn't even tell what the walls were made out of. The ceiling was so moldy it wasn't a surprise bats couldn't live on it.

There were solid walkways on each side of the temple _. 'They probably used this to get rid of waste... or something... I can see in here and the door is closed... that's moonlight.'_ David realized, looking to the right, then to the left, to see what he believes to be the outside world.

David begins running."Wait a second," He ponders aloud,"Does Harley have any way to get to safty? Am I going to have to wait for her? Man that sucks-" David is interupptes when the pathway abrubtly stops, David falling down into... what the fuck?

David can't see what is he just belly flopped into, but it's meaty and thick. Some of it liquid, some solid.

"Oh my god, ew!" David screams. Whenever David tries to get up, his hand just sinks in more, it's like quick sand.

David manages to manuever his way upward and starts trotting twords the moonlight.

While David walks forward, he notices something: It smells. Bad. David nearly buckles at how bad it smells, how did he not notice?

As David nears moonlight, he wished he wasn't nearing moonlight.

It wasn't marshy muck, it wasn't sewage. What David was covered in and was walking on were corpses.

Hundreds of rotten corpses, many beyond recognizable.

"...AHHH! Oh my god! Ew!" David couldn't help it, the sight was gruesome. What were the bodies doing here? David had no idea. He just wanted out.

As he finally ran out, he looked back. No one could create a massacre like that. David has only one guess as to what this is.

"T-t-this is where they put the bodies that come out of Gotham, it has to be. The..uh, city has a terrifyingly high death rate. Arkham probobly throws the inmates they can't fit in here, with how corrupt it is." He whispers aloud. David was down in a ditch, which falls into a huge drop.

David carefully climbs out. "There was water coming out of there, it must keep the bodies flowing. the bodies were practically dirt at the exit, nobody must even notice." David said.

David peeked up past the edge. "HA-HA-HA." He heard the echo of Harley laughing. She was driving Spooky down the rode, not seeing David.

"D-damn, how far did I, uh, make it?" David asked himself. The glow of Arkham's fire was visible, as was the pitch black smoke. Arkham itself was hidden among trees.

David gets up on the side of the road and puts his thumb up. Harley slows down up next to David. "Who are you? UH! Ya smell terrible!" Harley exclaims.

"Har-it's me, Shadow." David finds it hard to raise his voice above a whisper.

"Wha- Oh my god, Shadow, what happened to ya?" Harley asked David, putting on his seat belt in the passenger seat.

"Not important, just, uh, let's go to Gotham, I''ll need to take a nap after this. Wake me up when we get there." David tells Harley.

"Uh, Alright, but hey?" Harley asked.

"Yeah?" David responded.

"Can you roll your window down? You smell really bad."

 **...**

 **Lol I got tired halfway through, you can tell.**

 **Decided to write a big chapter, nothing more, nothing less.**


End file.
